There is something bothering me in this past week. I just cannot get it out of my head. Deep in my heart, I feel pretty guilty. Not sure if I have done the right thing but guess it does not matter anymore. How I wish had done otherwise so it did not come to hunt me back.
Okay, here is the story. Last week, just a couple of days before we went on our trip, a guy in his early 20’s, came and knocked on my door. Normally, I would not open the door for strangers especially when dear hubby is not around. But since the guy saw me from the porch,(sitting in front of my computer, of course) thought it was rude for just ignored him while we were staring at each other, so I decided to open the door and talked to him through the screen door.
He introduced himself as one of our neighbors, living just a few blocks away from us. I have never seen him before but it's a vast neighborhood. He told me his heartbreaking story, his mother has just passed away and he is trying to make a buck for her funeral by doing odd jobs. How sad was that? He asked me if he could cut our lawn. But dear hubby just mowed the lawn two days earlier. He then looked at our yard and say he could pick the sticks or if I have any other job for him.
I was speechless and nervous. Just say sorry about his mother and sorry for I do not have any job for him. Actually I want to just give him some money but not sure if I have any small cash (or any cash at all) in my purse. I do not want to make him wait at the door with some hope but then return with nothing. That's very mean. So I just say sorry, I have nothing for him. The poor guy said it’s okay and left.
I felt so bad after he left. What if he was sincerely trying to make some money for that particular reason? A few bucks could make a big different for him. So I decided to do what I feel was right, grab my purse, took out $10 (that’s the most I would give) and waited if I see him again. He might walk on the same street on his way back. Unfortunately, I have not seen him again.
So that’s the story. I know there was also a chance that he might have made up thing to get an easy money. But he was not asking for free money but work to earns it. So most likely he was very sincere. If he were doing it to go to college maybe I would not feel that bad, but man, this guy was trying to make money for his mother’s funeral. And to make it worse, it was just a couple of days before Mother’s Day. I wish had the guts to just tell him to wait and see what I can find in my purse. If only I had given him something even if a couple of bucks, I might not feel that bad. God, I feel so guilty. Am I too hard on myself?